Tagged: Sainsbury's

[From 2018] Hi Sainsburys How is my favourite supermarket doing?  I hear that you had pretty good Christmas results.Alas, your avocados have been a little disappointing on occasion recently. Twice I have bought your dual pack of ripe avocados in recent weeks (I’m stretching the definition of recent here) and ended up being disappointed.  So disappointed that I have taken to buying avocados from Tesco. As you may understand, now that I have moved to London, I need to prove my credentials by eating as many avocados as possible – especially on toast.  And not just any toast, but the …

Hey Sainsbury’s, how’s life?   We haven’t spoken for a while, which for most people other than my mum, is probably a good thing.  Definitely for you, as it means I have something to moan about and then you have to spend time refunding me the half a cucumber or whatever it is that I am moaning about.  Though the Metropolitan line is taking the brunt of my moaning capacity at the moment.   My lack of contact means that I’m either too busy or I’m happy, and until this delivery I was both.   Only one issue, the tomatoes …

I’m rather quite busy nowadays, especially with my job, commuting and trying to enjoy London, so I don’t always get the time to complain.  I have not only a list of complaints to make, but also a folder of complaints to share on my blog. So I thought I’d be efficient and save up a few for Sainsbury’s, and sent it shortly after they announced their merger with Asda. ****** Dear Sainsburys I am sure that you are currently being overwhelmed with part-time snobs given the proposed merger with Asda, with a flurry of complaints from wannabe Waitrose shoppers that …

Dear Sir/Madam I still have not worked out the point of cucumber. It tastes of nothing.  It seems to be just water.  It is utterly pointless. Yet I add it to my salad.  Why?  I have no idea.  Just one of the many pointless things I do in my life, like writing letters of complaint over something worth about 55p in the vague hope that I am making someone smile somewhere with my vague attempts at humour. Anyway, I had a cucumber bought from my local Sainsbury’s store the other day.  Other week, actually, I’ve been busy. The sell-buy date …

Hi Sainsbury’s Long time no speak.  Well I did e-mail you some time ago but I never received a response.  I had to e-mail directly as the form wasn’t working. Though that was also a long time ago.  Depending on your definition of long.  And depending on your definition of time. A long time ago, you changed your yoghurt pots.  I’m talking the excellent value 6x small yoghurt packs that retail for £1.10. Gone was the strong and stable pot, in came the weak and wobbly pot. It really is quite a flimsy design. 5 times now I have had …

Written when I was unemployed… ****** “Oh not him again”. Yes I know, you thought that you wouldn’t hear from me again now I’m unemployed (technically on gardening leave which means I do things like sorting out kitchen cupboards looking for out of date tins of pineapple), as I am now just a yellow sticker boy with an occasional foray into Iceland.  I shall still probably buy carrots from you. But on my last weekly shop with you until I am redeemed from this life of loneliness (I have lots of friends, honest), I have disappointment to proffer. Recently I …

This is a follow-up from an earlier e-mail to Sainsbury’s, when I was getting so fed up of them delivering short-dated chicken (amongst other things).  My original e-mail is here – it will help to put our love affair into context if you haven’t already read it. ****** Dear Sainsburys Thank you for taking the time to write to me.  I am heartened that you have not forgotten me. I thought about your loving words for a week or so, almost like a love-struck teenager, unable to know what to say or do.  In the end, I thought that we …

A complaint from last year, in May, after my Supermarket Slut project and part of my ongoing relationship troubles with Sainsbury’s Online. ******* Hi Sainsburys Do you remember me? We used to be close.  Really close.  We used to date each other every weekend. But then you kept sending me short-dated chicken…and I can only stand being cheated on so often, so I decided to play the field – as they say, there are plenty of fish in the sea. Well, there are 6 supermarkets in UK sea – Asda, Techno, Morrisons, Sainsburys, Waitrose and Ocado.  There may allegedly be …

Dear Sainsburys I am not sure whether you are aware but I am entering my manly torso-chest into a Sexy Torso competition shortly. One of the many areas of advice that I have encountered is for colouring my torso to ensure I stand out to the judges. To do so, I need to rub half an avocado onto my chest, particularly the nipple area, and let the oils soak in overnight. However this week, my Sainsburys avocados were totally unacceptable.  I bought a packet of the ripen at home avocados, but they just went to a weird light green/light brown. …

Back in December, I decided that I had had enough.  Time to move on. ****** Dear Sainsbury’s I think our relationship is over.  At the very least, it is time to take a break. I have told you on multiple occasions how it upsets me when you give me chicken which will not last for my weeks’ worth of salads.  I have to bring this up at least on a monthly basis and at the moment it seems to be almost every week. This week the chicken is going to expire tomorrow.  OK, Friday is Christmas Day so I won’t …

From last year… ***** Hi Sainsbury’s I note that you haven’t responded to my first complaint, dated 31/10/2015 about the recent quality of your fruit and vegetables.  This is concerning. I did however send it to customer.service@sainsburys.co.uk so I am sending my second complaint here. I have told you time and again that when I make my food order, I need the chicken I order to last all week, as I have salad for lunch. Imagine my disappointment this morning, when I see that England have already lost 4 wickets, and my chicken has gone off.  This means I now …

From last year… ****** Dear Sainsburys I’ve been busy this week, really busy.  See, I’mlooking for somewhere to live, I have to move in two weeks and I amspending a lot of time looking for somewhere to live.  It is a pain inthe backside. So you can understand that I need my life to go smoothly at the moment. Imaginemy disappointment when I started to make my chicken salad on Wednesdaymorning before work, and found the chicken looking rather dry and atouch discoloured – and realised that the best before date was 27thJuly. I have complained about this on a …

Dear Sainsbury’s As you may be aware, I have been developing my capacity to travel into space.  I wrote to you some time ago to complain about my teleport machine rejecting the rotten strawberries that I had purchased from you.  You were kind enough to refund the cost of said strawberries. My teleport machine, however, does not get me into space – it can only handle earth-teleportation as gravity has to be calibrated to the exact constant to be able to deliver without defect. I have recently been developing a leaf-powered rocket.  Now I am some way off being able …

Another complaint from 2014 that I thought I’d share: Dearest Sainsburys I would firstly like to apologise for the delay in sending you this complaint – you will probably notice that I am normally quite quick to complain however I have been spending a lot of time caressing my mullet recently. I received some trout on 23rd August and thought nothing more about it until 25th when it came to making trout and dill fishcakes – it had a best before date of 23rd August. I am not happy with this. Further to that, I purchased some rose wine last …

Dear Sainsburys I require some Bratwurst. However you do not stock any Bratwurst. My only other options are to shop at the horrid Tesco store, or to book a Ryanair flight to Germany. Are you able to assist in me being able to avoid the above options? Kind regardsJames Winfield ******************** Dear Mr Winfield Thank you for your email. I am sorry that you are not able to order Bratwurst online. I can understand your disappointment, especially as it is something that you particularly like. I tried to call you on the 13 August at 10.00am and 11.45am to offer …

I think this is a return to form for my complaints… *************************** Dearest Sainsburys I have a friend that moved out to Australia and she has been watching Wimbledon and is very upset that she cannot get British strawberries in Australia. I wanted to rescue the damsel-in-strawberryless-distress so I agreed to send some over in my teleport machine. However my teleport machine is quite particular in terms of the integrity of objects it sends, especially living items, and it rejected the strawberries due to “Intolerable Levels of Infection”. To explain in non-teleport terminology, the strawberries that were delivered to me …

You may recall a while ago that I announced that Sainsbury’s now make my favourite blend of ketchup. I felt a bit sad for my previous tomato ketchup supplier, Heinz, as it had served me well for about 27 years of my life, so I wrote to them to say thank you for their service, but to advise them that I have a new preference now. They have written back to me, to thank me for getting in touch with them about their tomato ketchup, and advised that they have shared their thoughts with their Research and Design team. And …

I refuse to lay down and take these crap plastic bags that Sainsbury’s have introduced, so of course, I wrote them an e-mail to complain… *************************** Subject: Shit Bags Dear Sir I don’t know if I was having an off-day but the quality of your in-store orange plastic bags that I used for my purchases today, was very low and I did not enjoy the strain on my fingers when using them to carry my shopping home. One of the reasons that I avoid Tesco is for their shoddy, cheap plastic bags. If this is going to be a re-occurring …

This my friends, is the daddy of gravy. I never used to be able to buy it in Reading, my mam used to send it down to me sometimes but she cannot do it often enough to satisfy my gravy demands. A while ago though, Sainsbury’s in Broad Street in Reading started to stock it and I was very excited, but now they no longer do so.  I wrote a letter of complaint – here is the response ************************** Dear James I’m sorry you’ve been unable to buy Goldenfry gravy in our Broad Street store. I can understand your disappointment …