Cover Image for Another Year Without Escaping This Damn Stupid Country

Another Year Without Escaping This Damn Stupid Country


It’s easy to have a downer on the country that you live in – see all the fucking stupidity that goes on, of which thanks to our government there is sufficient.

I’m pleased that I’m long past the point (by about two decades) where I thought Britain was the best country in the world, though perhaps it was the best country in the world two decades ago?

Yet it is easy to go on holiday somewhere, say Albania, fall in love with the place and remark about how much better life seems away from Britain. The weather, the food, the happy people, the once an hour bus with the sexy bus conductor, the quality and quantity of bread (would you like bread with your steak, sir? No, well I’ll just give you 4 slices then)…everything seems better in your temporary host country.

For those few days, or even a week, escaping from the usual rituals and doing some exploring should just be pure joy.

Though you get home and once again marvel at the sight of regular public transport, meals that don’t come with 4 slices of bread, drizzle – ahhh the joy of drizzle. Oh but that dumb fucking government is still in charge. Of course, whichever country you have visited, the chances are that their government are equally as moronic – sometimes far more so. Yeah, some countries have even more moronic governments than a Boris Johnson led government.

What is the point of this post?

So a few weeks ago, I started getting that feeling that autumn was here, and that I wasn’t going to enjoy the warm sunshine for quite some time. Well, I started getting that feeling by the end of July this summer. But you know what I mean – there was no hope for more warm sunshine.

Unless I went abroad.

In covid times.

With masks.


I did start looking into the possibilities. I really wanted to go somewhere without strict mask rules. Denmark and Sweden were the only real options that I could visit. But I wanted warm sunshine. Which meant one thing…


Oh la maybe not.

But anyway I looked into it. South of Spain – Malaga, was around £160 return for flights. I guessed I’d spend £70 getting to and from airports, plus beers. £250 on accommodation. £300+ for spending money.


My housemate actually went on holiday to Malaga but when she came back, informed me that people wore masks everywhere. EVERYWHERE. Her villa looked dreamy and, of course, with few people going on holiday, much nicer places are in my budget now.

In the end, I couldn’t justify spending the best part of a grand to go wear a mask in for a few days in the hopefully warm sunshine. Not when I’m saving for a deposit for a flat.

No, I really couldn’t justify it.

I’m only about £15k away from having enough for a 10% deposit on a flat, plus enough to pay all the shite like stamp duty and solicitors fees. Oh, plus I need a promotion too – well, a pay-rise away, otherwise I cannot qualify for Help To Buy, in which case I’m about £120k away from having enough for a 50% deposit on a grotty flat because the banks will only lend me around £200k currently.

Ahhhhhh Britain and it’s anti-housing NIMBY’s that love a bit of homelessness in exchange for higher valuations on their homes. Stupid fucking country.

You know what will happen, don’t you? I’ll buy a flat next year, two months later go to Spain on holiday, fall in love and she’ll ask me to move to Marbella with her.

I’ll be like, “leave my fucking stupid country?”.

Cuando es mi vacaciones?

There is one other possibility for a vacation.

Myself and my sister still have the interest-free loan that we gave British Airways for our flights to Japan to use up. Japan is off the agenda – 10 days quarantine. Fuck that shit. And imagine how strict they are on masks over there?

But the other option we discussed was going to Barbados at the end of March, co-incidentally when England cricket team are touring.

Alas, there is a 48 hour quarantine requirement whilst you await a positive test result.

Also alas, with this stupid fucking government in Britain, the chance of me getting covid is reasonably high – and were I to go somewhere with mandatory quarantine, would be almost certain, through sod’s law.

So maybe I’ll be stuck in this stupid fucking country until May next year, when it will warm up enough for a Copenhagen to Stockholm trip.

Adios. It could be worse.